funny enough how i seem to only post something when i'm not in a good mood. according to what my laptop shows me right now, today is Saturday, the 19th of October 2013 and i have no umbrella and been coping all day in my room doing nothing aside from scrolling down 9gag, tweeting, sleeping, and finally writing this post.
whose fault is that for leaving the one and only umbrella i have at home.
i supposed to get that shit back today. i was going to take the fastest train to home but things happened and instead of enjoying the smell of home, i'm enjoying the humidity in my room.
i haven't had a proper meal, that might be one of many factors of my bad mood today.
today is one of those days when i feel frustrated enough. one of those days SHIT THE ELECTRICITY JUST WENT DOWN HOW FUCKING NICE THANK YOU SO MUCH WHOEVER DECIDES TO MAKE EVERYTHING EVEN MORE FUCKED UP
ugh. UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
wow that feels so fucking damn glorious good.
how i miss using capslock how i miss cursing how i miss being myself how i miss slapping the day out of some bitches who wear those fake masks. how i miss the feeling of being considered as someone close, as someone worthy enough. i begin to think i lost everything a long time ago and now it's too late to regret what's gone.
why am i so incredibly terrifyingly stupid. how could i fail to hold those little things i've considered as mine. how could i ruin everyone's day. how damn could. why do all i see is red red red red and then blue and then i feel the salty water running down my cheeks. i'm just so tired. i'm just so tired for not knowing what's tiring me. another day will pass. tomorrow will come no matter what.
and i will forever be such a try hard. no one will ever want me for who i am.
whoever read this rant please you can roll your eyes in front of the screen because maybe apparently i'm having one of those days and being over dramatic upon the smallest things and tomorrow hopefully everything go back to normal.
Sabtu, 19 Oktober 2013
Selasa, 25 Juni 2013
doesn't make sense
i get dreams of you.
even when i go blank, i get pictures of you flashing in my mind.
i get flashbacks, the ones where there are you and me in one frame.
this doesn't make sense, at all.
you know why, you do know the reasons.
hurts my heart.
flutters my heart.
do whatever you want, but please don't do the exact contradict actions at the same time just because,
just because i can't take it.
this doesn't make sense, at all.
because everything, everything is just happening to me.
you don't even get the same pain, do you?
you don't even feel the same tingling in your stomach, do you?
you exactly don't project the same visions i get.
you are the protagonist one here, in my little own drama.
that doesn't make sense.
and i still want you to be the main act here,
to hurt me down
to flutter me up
to be just you
just let me like you, and i will be content enough.
yes, this will never make sense.
even when i go blank, i get pictures of you flashing in my mind.
i get flashbacks, the ones where there are you and me in one frame.
this doesn't make sense, at all.
you know why, you do know the reasons.
hurts my heart.
flutters my heart.
do whatever you want, but please don't do the exact contradict actions at the same time just because,
just because i can't take it.
this doesn't make sense, at all.
because everything, everything is just happening to me.
you don't even get the same pain, do you?
you don't even feel the same tingling in your stomach, do you?
you exactly don't project the same visions i get.
you are the protagonist one here, in my little own drama.
that doesn't make sense.
and i still want you to be the main act here,
to hurt me down
to flutter me up
to be just you
just let me like you, and i will be content enough.
yes, this will never make sense.
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